This is something I need to do for myself and I think It will help others who are curious and don’t understand the dynamic of a Master and submissive relationship.
It’s important to know that due to the nature of my lifestyle, most of my posts will contain sexually graphic material, so if you’re easily offended or not of legal age in your country of residence or easily offended please leave the page.
You will find that i use lowercase “i” when referring to myself and a capital for Master or any male pronouns when referring to Him. The reason for this is simple He is my everything and i choose to show Him respect in this way. This is being written from the heart so please excuse any misuse of grammar I am not doing this to be marked on my writing ability.


I am a married woman with a family living in the UK once in fulltime work but gave up to be a full time Mummy and run the house. My husband and i are very open and talk all the time about sexually issues, are needs and wants without offending each other. i grew up a “good girl” never doing anything i shouldn’t or pushing the boundaries. My husband was my first boyfriend at the age of 18 at which point i lost my virginity so very unexperienced sexually.
I am very shy in public and hide behind a smile or giggle. I am very in tune with my emotions and they do take over the way I think…not always good. I am naturally submissive and I yearn to please everyone I meet. If I don’t succeed in pleasing or making you smile I feel a failure.


55c2b055abe835e3f0a902b299a76345My story begins just over years 4 years ago at the age of 40…life does begin a 40, believe me!!! After many years of being very vanilla in the bedroom and feeling like a “plain Jane” everything changed. My Husbands sex drive was always much higher than mine and he was more experimental with toys than me. i was the usual “once a week in the missionary position wife” but he had needs in the bedroom, as most men do, and i wasn’t responding to him. i was quite reserved so bondage and sex toys were a no no and wrong. So after many discussions merging into arguments i finally saw the light and with my husband’s help and encouragement i started to enjoy experimenting even enjoying being restrained while toys were used on me letting myself go…sex had become fun it was amazing. He is naturally Dominant which fitted together perfectly with my submissive nature. i had begun to enjoy the sexual person in me not hiding it but enjoying how positive it made me feel and this started to show on my outside. For the first time in many years i was being noticed and complimented by other men who lifted my self-esteem sexually. In the following two years i had advances from men and became very flirty in private with those I knew even playing alone with them. My husband was unaware of the meetings but was aware of the verbal contact and flirting and was happy with that.
My Husband and i started to discuss a Master and submissive scenario between ourselves unfortunately this didn’t work as we had grown as Husband and wife and it was hard to change. So he introduced me to a D/s website to see if i could find my very own Master, a very big step. With his help i set up a profile and there i was online as a new submissive searching for my very own Master my journey begins.


My profile was live on the D/s website, what was i going to get, who was going to reply, very exciting but i was extremely wary of the unknown. Within the first few hours I had many replies from “Dominants” and other “submissives”. A few were welcoming and advising me on the does and do nots when looking for a Master. The others were inviting even pleading with me to become their submissive even going to extreme of saying i wouldn’t find any one better than them. Most replies I deleted and didn’t give them the time of day, it was flattering getting all the interest but very eye opening how easy it could be to fall into the wrong hands. i wasn’t behind the door and with my limited knowledge i knew some of these men didn’t have a clue about the true role of a Master and were just after a quick fix. i am normally good at seeing someone for who they are, my gut feeling was going to be my judge.

Along side my need for a Master I was curious about bi females. I’d never been interested in females but as my sexuallity started to open up i considered experimenting with a woman. i became friends and chatted a lot online with a lesbian who had a Mistress. She was amazing, a lot younger than me but very mature. She answered my questions on feelings and where to start with a woman on a first meet. Probably all silly little questions but important to see if this was what i wanted.

In the weeks to follow i stayed in touch with my female friend but concentrated more on my main interest which was a Master. The weird, rude, scary and down right vulgar still continued to contact me. i was even invited to leave my husband and family and move to Australia all payed for to live with someone who i’d never met…yes these people do actually exist and yes there are probably females who would risk everything including their life and take him up on the offer…madness!!!

i started to chat with a handful of Dominants through the site some local some not they all seemed to be very serious about the lifestyle and had a wide range of knowledge. They were all at different levels in their dominance and their approach. Some were extremely sharp and showed no respect, one wanted constant online attention and messaged everyday with his fantasy it became quite tiresome and very one sided. I decided there were three potential Dominants, which one was I to pick???


129cf4c54c5a555ffcb1328908f49cc5After many days of messaging off the site on my personal messaging app i told all three Dominants that i had to finally pick only one.

“please always follow your gut instinct when finding your own Master/Mistress. I believe that it is for the submissive to choose their Dominant after all as the submissive you are releasing the whole of you over to someones complete use and care. Never be forced into choosing if they are genuine they will understand and wait. If there is no connection and any doubt of trust stay away”

Although I had three potential candidates one had stood out from the start, initially because of His first message. It was polite, caring and very real, if that makes sense. After seeing pictures of Him and many conversations with Him i knew i could feel an attraction and trust of Him. There was something else that impressed me and that was His none pushy attitude and an understanding that i had to choose, something the others didn’t have.

He insisted that before i chose we were to speak on the phone to verify we were both real something else the other two weren’t bothered with. i was very nervous about speaking on the phone and it took a few more days before I plucked up the courage to agree. The day finally came, i was nervous and excited all rolled into one i was finally going to speak to Him. i had “what if this or that” going round in my head, the biggest one being what if I don’t know what to say…yes silly but very true.

Lying on my bed waiting for Him to call i felt physically ill with worry and nerves my mouth was dry. Oh my god the phone started ringing exactly at the arranged time…a good time keeper too! i gingerly said hello, then i heard His voice for the first time from that moment i knew i could trust Him and my nerves just melted away. He had a soft but masterful voice i could hear nothing but a natural caring personality with a need to protect. We chatted for a while it was very natural and a very open conversation it felt like i’d known Him for years, we laughed and opened up completely it felt oh so right. He told me about Himself and His marriage and family, He lived in the same house as His wife but they had separate bedrooms and hadn’t been intimate for many years this was down to personal circumstance. i asked did He still love her he replied “i love her because I care but i’m not in love as that part of the relationship has gone” i admired His honesty.

He was older than me, another bonus, and had experienced lots in this lifestyle from being a Master for others to playing as a submissive for a Mistress in a London BDSM club. i came off the phone and instantly knew He was the one i felt amazing and kept reliving the conversation to be honest i didn’t want to put the phone down.